Is it mandatory to celebrate birthdays?’ Birthday parties as a test of belonging in Norway

Abstract

”Is it mandatory to celebrate children’s birthdays?” A mother of five with a Somali background asked this question in a parenting class she attended with other parents from East Africa. The mother explained that she experienced a very specific demands from both the kindergarten and school concerning birthdays: that her children should have a celebration. “Why are children with a migration background not attending birthday parties in our children’s classes at school?” A white middle-class mother asked this rhetorically, partly to herself and partly to others, while discussing how to make a more inclusive school environment in a parents’ meeting at a school. During our fieldwork with parents of different class and ethnic background in a diversified area in Bergen, the second largest city in Norway, we noticed that questions about birthday parties were of high concern among both professionals working with children and many differently situated parents. Some parents in our study discussed how to perform it, others whether to do so at all, and many reflected upon expectations concerning guests, gifts and hosts.